Parenthood

One often hears about the delights and horrors of parenting and it's easy to get sucked into the thought that once your little one arrives, you'll never sleep, eat or be human ever again and that you and your spouse will never again see one another. I suppose that is the case for some parents but fortunately our little one has been good to us. Once we learned that Dylan was on the way, we started assessing other parents' methods and devising our own and the bottom line was that we were going to do it our way. In the grand tradition of doing things a little bit differently, we decided to parent our own way too.

The most important goal I had while I was pregnant was that I planned on doing it the old fashioned way. Aside from wanting to know the gender, I wanted to do things like my mom did it. I knew enough about about the process that I quickly acknowledged that my body is a finely tuned instrument and can handle just about anything. That brought me comfort and although I knew I would experience quite a bit of uneasiness and pain, I knew that was the way I wanted it. People thought I was crazy that I didn't want pain medication or shots or this and that and I was told on end how I'd change my mind. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm stubborn and if I say I will or won't, then you know I will or won't. I was certainly not going to change my mind about something as important as the decision on how I brought my daughter into this world. So, fast forward to November 30, 2010, my daughter arrived perfectly healthy and without any sort of pain relief. I will not lie and say it was pain free but I wanted the experience. Zach and I took a childbirth class with a teacher who was an experienced midwife and a supporter of all things natural and it confirmed that we wanted to do it our way (old fashioned, if you will). The benefits were many and that made the decision easy.

Much like the time we spent making decisions on our childbirth plan, we spent an equal amount of time deciding our parenting tactics. Knowing most of it would happen later when the child was old enough for disciplining, we still agreed that we would be a team and wouldn't overrule one another. At first it was tough for me because I was home with her 24/7 and I had my schedule and processes in place throughout the day and seeing someone doing it differently after my "shift" was tough. I learned to let it go and realize that Zach's way wasn't wrong, but different. Overall we developed a rhythm to our parenting and so far it is working successfully. Communication is key! If I'm frustrated, he'll step in and vice versa. We'll continue to do things our way and read and make educated decisions about child rearing and while we don't necessarily agree on many things today's parents do, we acknowledge that it's their choice. Maybe we overthink things but I'm happy with that.

As the days pass, I realize and appreciate all the work my parents have done to bring up three children. I understand my mom more every day. I feel guilty for all those times I thought she embarrassed me as a child when really she was trying to have fun. I find myself doing the same things to my daughter as mom did to me and I'm sure Dylan will be just as embarrassed. One day she will appreciate it too. There is a long journey ahead and I hope I can provide as my parents have. All the while, we are going to do it our way.