Parenthood

One often hears about the delights and horrors of parenting and it's easy to get sucked into the thought that once your little one arrives, you'll never sleep, eat or be human ever again and that you and your spouse will never again see one another. I suppose that is the case for some parents but fortunately our little one has been good to us. Once we learned that Dylan was on the way, we started assessing other parents' methods and devising our own and the bottom line was that we were going to do it our way. In the grand tradition of doing things a little bit differently, we decided to parent our own way too.

The most important goal I had while I was pregnant was that I planned on doing it the old fashioned way. Aside from wanting to know the gender, I wanted to do things like my mom did it. I knew enough about about the process that I quickly acknowledged that my body is a finely tuned instrument and can handle just about anything. That brought me comfort and although I knew I would experience quite a bit of uneasiness and pain, I knew that was the way I wanted it. People thought I was crazy that I didn't want pain medication or shots or this and that and I was told on end how I'd change my mind. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm stubborn and if I say I will or won't, then you know I will or won't. I was certainly not going to change my mind about something as important as the decision on how I brought my daughter into this world. So, fast forward to November 30, 2010, my daughter arrived perfectly healthy and without any sort of pain relief. I will not lie and say it was pain free but I wanted the experience. Zach and I took a childbirth class with a teacher who was an experienced midwife and a supporter of all things natural and it confirmed that we wanted to do it our way (old fashioned, if you will). The benefits were many and that made the decision easy.

Much like the time we spent making decisions on our childbirth plan, we spent an equal amount of time deciding our parenting tactics. Knowing most of it would happen later when the child was old enough for disciplining, we still agreed that we would be a team and wouldn't overrule one another. At first it was tough for me because I was home with her 24/7 and I had my schedule and processes in place throughout the day and seeing someone doing it differently after my "shift" was tough. I learned to let it go and realize that Zach's way wasn't wrong, but different. Overall we developed a rhythm to our parenting and so far it is working successfully. Communication is key! If I'm frustrated, he'll step in and vice versa. We'll continue to do things our way and read and make educated decisions about child rearing and while we don't necessarily agree on many things today's parents do, we acknowledge that it's their choice. Maybe we overthink things but I'm happy with that.

As the days pass, I realize and appreciate all the work my parents have done to bring up three children. I understand my mom more every day. I feel guilty for all those times I thought she embarrassed me as a child when really she was trying to have fun. I find myself doing the same things to my daughter as mom did to me and I'm sure Dylan will be just as embarrassed. One day she will appreciate it too. There is a long journey ahead and I hope I can provide as my parents have. All the while, we are going to do it our way.

The First 30

Yesterday was my 30th birthday and I suppose that warrants some type of musing. As a whole I will say that I have had a wonderful life thus far. I've been given opportunities to explore the world, other cultures, new ideas and mostly, I have met many fantastic people. Here is a snapshot of the first 30 in decades:

The First 10
- Born in Derby CT in 1980
- Started learning German at home thanks be to my parents
- Flew alone for the first time back from Germany; I celebrated my 9th birthday there
- Started playing the clarinet
- Finished school in CT through 5th grade
- Went to Italy, Germany, Canada
The Second 10
- Moved to SC in 1992
- Started and finished middle school and high school
- Continued playing clarinet for 8 years
- Graduated high school
- Spent my 18th birthday in Germany also flying alone
- Started College of Charleston
- Started my first job in high school (appropriately at a shoe store)
- Started my first real job with Bank of America
- Traveled some more, including Europe and the western US
The Third 10
- Graduated College of Charleston with a BA in German
- Graduated U. of Phoenix with MBA
- Studied abroad in Germany for the summer of 2003
- Met Zach
- Moved from Charleston to Anderson to Boston
- Had a baby
- Bought my first car
- Learned how to make jewelry

One of the most valuable lessons I learned in the first 30 is that it is OK to be yourself. As a child you are encouraged to be creative and explore a variety of things to see what you like. In the teen years it becomes acceptable to forfeit who you are in order to stay popular or be "cool" and luckily for the most of us, we realize that we had the right idea when we were less than 10 years old and probably didn't care so much of what people thought. We knew how to have a good time and enjoy the things that really matter. My biggest observation is that I've come full circle to who I am today. As a child, I learned a lot, loved my mommy and daddy and big brothers, had fun and understood that i was the slightly odd girl from the German family (maybe not that odd). During my teen years, parents are no longer cool and it was about gossiping and writing notes and giggling. In my mid-twenties, I realized that my parents are actually very cool, I'm lucky to have two older brothers and admittedly, my mom really did know what she was talking about. Having a child also puts things into perspective and is teaching me not to worry about the small stuff. The main point is to enjoy the years of life you have, find the good in people and don't worry about what people have to say about you - they don't have all the details anyway! Some of it is easier said than done, but it's definitely worth a go. So, happy birthday to me!

So, how 'bout that warm weather...

My latest post is more of an observation about the lameness and generic nature of social interaction. I work in a public setting so it's commonplace to hold very quick and sterile dialogue. The most ridiculous one that has lately become laughable is the weather chat. You know what I mean.

"Can you believe this weather?" Yes, I can. Be it rain, heat or snow, someone always finds it appropriate to discuss the weather. I often catch myself mentioning it out of sheer amusement because I know that 99% of the time, the recipient of my question will get into some passionate rambling of how much they love or dislike the current state of weather conditions. While most of the time you get responses about how hot it is or how cold, you will probably get a brief weather report for the next few days. I almost find it tedious to look at my online weather report anymore because I know at some point during the day, someone will kindly give me the forecast. I can't control the weather anyway, so it makes no difference to me what it's doing out there. There are few times, like today for example, where you actually get into a more in depth conversation. This is rare, but exciting when it happens!

Today I was talking to a regular and he mentioned how much he loved the heat and said he was from the south. I knew I detected a familiar accent and he revealed he was from GA and adored the warm weather. So naturally I told him I lived in SC for quite a few years and that led into some other chat. This is a very rare instance but this is when weather chat really gets fun. Don't expect it to get you solid conversation all time but every once in a blue moon, it happens.

Hi, English, R U There?

If the title of this post irritates you, then welcome to my world. I am often bewildered and saddened by the slow and untimely demise of the English language. What happened to the days of proper punctuation, knowledge of spelling and practical use of writing? When did it become acceptable to shorthand everything and use numbers for words? IDK! (Evidently that means I don't know.) And does anyone really laugh out loud when they LOL gallantly and gloriously within a text message or e-mail? I know I don't usually laugh out loud so much as just chuckle within.

I admit to tossing an occasional LOL into my text but I'm probably part of the rare breed of text messager who uses capitalization and punctuation in their notes. I just can't help myself. It's almost like I have a nagging English professor within myself who will correct me or feel ashamed if I don't use proper protocol. Perhaps that's why I can't clearly explain myself - I'm trying too hard to sound intelligent. Is that wrong? Listening to the kids of today, and even some adults, I feel I have try doubly hard to make up for their ignorance and lack of appreciation for their native tongue just so the older generation has some small hope for the future.

Maybe I'm just an old soul but learning the language and using it properly is important to me. People don't know how to communicate anymore. The zombie look on people is getting all too common and no one seems to know how to make eye contact anymore; largely in part that the computer screen (or phone screen) does not have a set of eyes and does not respond to you like a person. Although by the looks of some, it would appear they had a serious relationship going with their electronic device.

It truly amazes me how some individuals do not know how to interact one another and carry their online persona into their actual lives where they feel free to act and speak in any manner. In the virtual world, no one has any fear. We post our thoughts publicly and even the most introverted person in real life is a tireless extrovert online. So, it's only natural to carry our virtual selves into the real world. Right?

Anyway, I will step down slowly from my soapbox now. While I continue my venture forward in trying to salvage the teachings of English 101, I hope you all have a pleasant evening. Let me know if you see a sentence or a semicolon out there. ;) Oh, there it is...

Food for Thought

While reading over a friend's blog recently, I noticed she had such passion behind her writing, so I decided that maybe I could update the family blog, give the daughter one of her own (for fun of course since she can't really manage it yet at 6 months) and give myself one. A place I can electronically capture thoughts on various thinkings I have and don't necessarily need to vocalize. 

Passion in mind, I will get this blog started with something that I feel strongly for and that is my vegetarianism. When confronted for my reasoning behind not eating meat, I often feel like I'm put in the spotlight and I know the questions aren't ill-intended, but verbally communicating isn't my strong suit and having to put this into words is just tedious and I usually just brush it off with a swift and quick answer. You see, answering it honestly could be taken as pretentious or as if I'm trying to urge the asker to reconsider their views or make them a vegetarian. I'm not doing it for other people, I'm doing it for myself and yes, the animals in question. And, if in the process I happen to convince another to rethink their eating habits, then that's fantastic. 

Growing up in a German family prompted many a meal designed around meats. You name it, we ate it. I didn't think about what it was but I just knew it was tasty and I enjoyed it. Sometime around the early 2000s I thought more about what I was eating because I was the one preparing it. Honestly, preparing chicken and pork was gross but I knew the end result was a delicious meal. The thoughts of preparation led to me thinking about what it was I was doing and where the pork or chicken came from and that it was indeed a living and breathing organism at one point. Without going into detail about how the food industry shapes the way we think and markets these items, because you can go and Wikipedia that later or watch a Netflix on it, I decided to make a decision. It was easy to make the decision because my husband had had the same feelings and we decided, cold turkey (no pun intended), to stop eating it. Over the years we started eliminating red meats, then fish and then finally all of it. At first we felt inclined to try every faux meat on the market but eventually decided to explore our options and find some creative eats. 

One of the most agitating questions I get is, "So, what do you eat?" Well, everything else. Pasta, vegetables, sandwiches, burritos, cake, ice cream, fruit, waffles and, well, you get the idea. There is so much more in the world of food that I'm not going to list it all and I find that once we let go of the meats, we became more exploratory in the kitchen and ultimately found some fabulous recipes. Additionally, we try recipes from other cultures because there are so many recipes around the world that don't include meat. 

Bottom line for me - I love my cats and I love animals. So, why would I eat them? Vegetarianism aside, I try to make a better decision about what goes in my body. Yes, I love sweets and could certainly use a little help in that area but otherwise, I try to base my decision on whether I can pronounce what is listed in the ingredients or whether it should be there. Even buying foods for Dylan makes the shopping visit a little longer because I analyze the label and don't think gelatin or tuna oil have any place in my daughter's pureed vegetables. She'll get her vitamins elsewhere. I'll just make it myself! 

So, there you have it, my extended version of the usual "blow off" answer. If I answered truthfully in person, some of you might think I'm being a snob or what have you but really, I'm just making a decision for myself and trying to make the world a little better of a place. How does being an herbivore help the planet? Well, I'll let you Wiki that one too. :)