Mom's the Word

I see a lot of mothers out there who are very excited about their new roles. They are 100% mothers. They cook, clean, eat, sleep, sew, read, bake and play their way through motherhood and love being their children's mommies. To those women, I applaud you. Motherhood shows through me a little differently. Admittedly, I enjoy baking sometimes, but I don't often want to cook, I do not sew, playing is not that much fun for me and cleaning I could take or leave. I'm not a mommy. For the last 11 months I have tried my darndest to be that mom. To a certain degree I think all new moms expect the impossible and have strong desire to be super moms. I want our home clean, I want the child clean at all times, I want her bookshelf tidy and her clothes folded. I want to be the best at work and so on and so forth. Ladies, if you haven't figured it out already, you probably won't get all this accomplished, but if you have figured it out, send me a note and we'll chat. I stress myself out trying to keep it all together.

It's a difficult thing to admit to not be the picturesque mom. You've seen her before, possibly in the books you read your child or those read to you. She's the lady who is dressed properly, always smiles, has dinner cooked and whose life revolves around the family. I admire the woman. I don't know if she truly exists but in our household, she does not. I just do not share the parental enthusiasm of some and I don't think it makes me a bad parent. Our daughter is a relaxed, happy and smart person. She gets hugs and kisses, cooked meals and clean clothes. I read her stories and play her puzzles with her but overall, I'm not the mommy in the book or the mommy that some of my cohorts are but I seem to get the job done sans maternal fanfare.

I have often observed my mom in action and reflected on her skills and what she did over the years. There were things I thought I would do differently. I always thought she did a good job because the three of us turned out just fine but maybe I would tweak her methods. Alas, I've come to realize I'm very much like my mother. I don't have her baking and cooking skills perfected yet, and she holds more wisdom and common sense than I do, but she has a few years on me. I am taking my mother's route to parenting so far, the one I thought I would adjust. I have to think maybe she wasn't trying to be the mommy either. We weren't the lovey dovey family but there was love going around. To me she was the woman in the books and maybe she didn't think she was either. Maybe my little bits will think I am even though I do not. Time will tell I suppose. For now I will continue to take my mothering day by day and hope my daughter continues to develop positively as she has been. She certainly has taught me a lot over the last few months and I am grateful to her for that. Maybe she'll be the one to turn me from mom to mommy when I'm least expecting it. Just when I find myself not trying so hard to be one, I probably will become her.